A Way of Looking, examines the history of places and spaces my ancestors inhabited. I compose self-portraits with my back turned to the viewer in southern landscapes connected to an 1845 deed and an 1873 addendum documenting my third great-grandfather Sam Brown’s purchase of 100 acres of land for 100 pieces of gold in the Garcitas Community in rural southern Texas. This transaction, though appearing to be an act of self-determination, exposes the limitations of freedom within a system designed to oppress. Struck by how Sam Brown’s identity, even in death and five generations removed from me, remains inextricably tied to the “master’s tools.” To trace my ancestry, I had to follow the migrations of Robert Gamble Jr., the seller listed on the deed, each location a site of contestation. Ultimately, I discovered he was the enslaver of my ancestor, Sam Brown, who was sold as an asset to settle Gamble’s debts.
By presenting myself with my back turned, I invite the viewer to engage in the act of “looking at me looking,” prompting a deeper consideration of the act of seeing and the power dynamics inherent in observation. I examine the impact of the deep rural South of Texas, a region marked by a complex and often brutal history that is deeply intertwined with settler-colonial ideals and forced migrations. As part of this project, I create diptychs, merging images from our family archives with my self-portraits in these landscapes, honoring both the enduring strength and beauty found within my family’s legacy. These diptychs intertwine past and present, creating a space where ancestral resilience shines through as strongly as the trauma.
